Confession #1: I always thought pregnant women who waddled were just doing it to be dramatic and occassionally I may or may not have made fun of them. Seriously, I just thought it was all in their heads and they were only doing it to make absolutely certain people knew they were pregnant -- just in case there was any room for doubt. Seriously, why did they think they had to walk like that? Did they even try to walk normally? My heartless self had no sympathy for them.
Confession #2: Over the last couple weeks I have noticed an increased discomfort and soreness when I walk. In fact, it's downright painful at times! With each step I take I wince slightly and take a deep breath and will myself to please, please, please walk as normally as I can even though it hurts! As a result, I have developed a slight limp on my right side. I can't decide which is worse: a lame pregnant woman or a waddling pregnant woman?
Confession #3: Several years ago when I was home over Christmas break, my little sister and I decided to brave the shopping mob at the local mall. We drove up and down the parking lot looking for a parking space. Lo and behold, the only space available within a mile of the mall was an "Expecting Mother" space. We felt only a slight twinge of guilt for parking there because it wasn't our fault we weren't married and weren't going to have children anytime soon, right? And we could totally count ourselves as "expecting mothers" because we really were expecting to be mothers some day, we just didn't know when! Besides, the "real" expectant mothers could park further away because they probably needed the exercise anyway. We were totally justified. Just for show, we pulled rings from our right hands and put them on our left ring finger and tried to dramatically push our bellies out. I'm not sure who we thought we were fooling. Luckily, no one caught us or even seemed to care. In fact, I'm not sure if you can even be fined for things like that. How would you begin to monitor that sort of thing? Have everyone who parks there urinate on a stick? As I said, we felt totally justified and only slightly guilty. However, now that it's harder and harder for me to walk, limp or no limp, I find myself wishing that more places had "Expectant Mother" parking spaces. I tell myself that yes, I probably do need the exercise, but don't these businesses know how painful it is to walk with several pounds of pressure pushing onto the lower half of my body, not to mention grotesquely swollen feet!?! Apparently Richmond, Virginia doesn't believe in "Expectant Mother" parking spaces because I have yet to find a single one (Although I have seen one or two "Reserved for Mothers with Infants" spaces, but does it count if the infant is unborn?). I blame this bad luck/charma on my past behavior, 1) making fun of waddling mothers, and 2) parking in "Expectant Mother" parking spaces as an unpregnant single female. I guess it's true what they say, what goes around comes around.
