Fall Randomness

Fall has been busy. The first week of September, my dad visited for a quick trip. James was in heaven having a grandparent shower him with attention. I'm jealous of any kid who has a grandparent within a thousand mile radius. But on the flip side, it's such a treat anytime someone visits and makes seeing family that much more exciting.  We definitely don't take it for granted.

The day after my dad left, I got sick. I've been sick so many times since that I already don't even remember what it was I had. But thus started my two week bout with an awesome case of Insomnia. I've had sleep issues on and off my whole life but this was by far the worst cycle I've experienced. Every night for nearly two weeks, I literally could not fall asleep until at least four in the morning and then would wake up at six and not go back to sleep. I felt like a zombie, an emotional wreck zombie. It was a nightmare.

Not sleeping literally made me the worst, most boring mother and wife on the planet. No patience, no energy to function let alone do anything extra. I felt so bad for my kids.

Brian had to be in New Orleans for eight days at the end of September. I begged him to give me a blessing before he left. That night I slept soundly for the first night in weeks and I slept the entire time Brian was gone. I know it was a miracle because the second I dropped him off at the airport, even though I hadn't slept in  weeks, I felt like I had energy and that I could handle life without him. The second I picked him up at the airport, I felt that energy slip away again.

Right after Brian got home, I got sick with a cold and a nasty cough. Even my voice went away. I sounded like a smoker for about a week. It was actually pretty humorous. A couple days later, Brian's dad and brother came for the weekend. It was so much fun having family here again and James was on cloud nine having more family visit. Having people come visit us makes me so happy and grateful. I know traveling to Knoxville is totally inconvenient. There are no direct flights and it literally takes a full day to get here, so that people take the effort to do it just to see us is so humbling. I'm grateful for every single one of our visitors.

The morning we dropped the visitors off at the airport, we left for Orlando. Brian had a conference there, so we tagged along since Brian's work was paying for the hotel and rental car. To make it even better, an oral surgery organization was offering spouse scholarships for the conference. I applied a few months ago and was lucky enough to receive one of them. With that scholarship, mine and James' plane tickets were completely paid for (Livy still flies for free for a few more months), making the entire trip totally free. That is my kind of trip!We decided against all the usual-Orlando hoopla since we'd just done the whole Disney thing in May. The kids loved swimming at the hotel pool and playing in the kid's area and that was really all they needed to have a great, exhausting vacation.

My favorite part of the trip was our exclusive access to Harry Potty World at Universal Studios one of the nights we were there. The conference Brian was attending had rented the place out for a night. It was amazing. The streets of Harry Potter World were lined with tables heaped with amazing food, free butter beer (yuck!), and other goodies. It was so much fun. The afternoon of this event, I felt a sore throat and sinus pressure coming on and prayed my heart out that it would stay at bay until the next day, just so I could at least enjoy this one thing we'd been looking forward to. The next morning I woke up so sick I could hardly lift a finger. I stayed in bed most of the day while Brian did fun stuff with the kids. I felt so helpless and so sad that I was sick on our last day of vacation. Thus started my second round of Insomnia.

Some how I made it through traveling the next day--after a lot of  medication and prayers. The entire next week I was feverish and so tired and sick I could literally do nothing but sit on the couch in agony. Thankfully, I finally made it into the doctor on Friday and she provided me with some meds to start clearing out whatever it was I had.

To top it off, last Sunday I had to play the piano in our ward primary program. That Saturday was a rehearsal and just to get myself there was a chore. As I've mentioned before, I am not a good piano player and I usually dread having to play on a normal day. The rehearsal felt like a disaster. My head was so foggy and my nose so runny, I couldn't make my fingers do what they needed to do. I prayed that the next day would be better, but oh my goodness, it was so much worse. In fact, it was so bad that I laugh just thinking about it. I messed up majorly on every song but the last one, which, ironically, was the most complicated to play. The only thing that got me through and kept me from being totally embarrassed was that I was so sick I just didn't care. I felt like my mind was floating off in sick land and my fingers were doing their own thing, even though I'd practiced so hard for weeks that I'd been counting on muscle memory kicking in. I just wanted to get it over with. I felt bad for the primary president and chorister who probably thought I was a total mess and didn't practice at all. Sometimes, even with lots of prayers, things just don't go your way anyway. And you know what, that's okay. It's over and I don't have to worry about it again until next year! :

Yesterday was Brian's birthday. I've finally been feeling better the last couple days and had the energy to make all his favorite foods, decorate a little, visit him at work, take him out to lunch, and go bowling last night. We had a really fun day together and all went to bed exhausted. I sure love Brian and all he does for our family.

On the way home from our lunch together Brian and I were discussing our future and how most OMFS residents in their final year already know where they're going at this point and what does it say about us that we still don't know? We're in total panic mode. We started wondering how it is that things came together so easily for everyone else. They just knew where they wanted to go, or even if they didn't know a location at least contacts came together and things just worked out. We can't even seem to get contacts to pay us any attention. It's so frustrating. At any rate, it reminded me of my single years. How I would watch all my friends/roommates one by one date their future spouse and then get married and through the midst of it all I remained single and would think about what a foreign concept even considering marriage was to me and I wondered how in the world they had made it come together so effortlessly. I just didn't understand it. Then I met Brian and it really did just happen and come together. When things work out it is just a miracle in so many ways. I know one way or another, things will work out for our future. It may be frustrating waiting and trying to figure it out, but once it happens, it will be the right thing for us. The point of sharing that, really was to convey how grateful I am to have met Brian so unexpectedly that summer day seven years ago. He makes my life happy and everything about it better. The best part of all our day is when Brian comes home from work. I'm grateful that wherever we end up, that we'll all be together.

But until we figure it out, I'll keep enjoying what could be my last fall in the South.

Truth

I shared this over at Just Cook Already but thought I'd share it here, too.

In the past few months that I have been contributing to Just Cook Already, I've experienced so many failed recipes that you'd think I would have given up by now on documenting anything I cook. The truth is, with every recipe I post, there are at least two or three that either just didn't turn out as I expected, were something I'd made before and loved but yikes, what happened this time? Or, it turned out so disastrous that my husband took one bite and stalled, trying to figure out how to proceed in a tactful manner. Like the chicken adobo I made last week that seemed more like salty soy sauce soaked chicken than something that was supposed to be gourmet. Is that how it's supposed to taste? Or like the pasta salad I've made dozens of times but somehow this last time it ended up so dry and bland that trying to doctor it up only made it worse. It sat in our fridge for a week, taunting me every time I opened the door until I finally sighed and threw it out. I hate wasting food (see Mom, you did teach me something). Or, like the flourless chocolate torte I recently made. How could I go wrong? The pictures online looked gorgeous and the recipe looked totally doable. I knew I had to make it the next time we had guests for dinner. But when we all took our first bite, the overly dense and sickeningly sweet torte made me mortified that I had served it to anyone, let alone people I actually like. I knew it was a failure when even my sweet toothed three-year-old pushed it away.

So, I give kudos to all those amazing food bloggers out there. Because behind the scenes, I know is probably a messy kitchen, major stress, and possibly even a few failed attempts before the impeccable looking piece of art that is shown as the final result.

Someday I'd love for my kitchen to look this blissful and have everything turn out perfectly:

But the truth is, I kind of like it the way it is:

Even if a recipe doesn't turn out, I've got a little team of helpers on my side who don't care if it gets published or not, don't care if what I make isn't perfect and who make being in my kitchen fun no matter what.

Instablog

Does anyone blog anymore? Since my discovery of Instagram, my blogging has gone way downhill. That's okay. I don't have much to say anyway.

Actually, I do. Just a few things though.

Summer is half way over. Or, if I was more of an optimist I could say that we still have half of summer left. I guess that does sound better. Here's what's going on with us this summer:

James and Livy have a complicated relationship. Most of the time they adore each other. James can be bossy though and our little lady is developing quite the temper/attitude and if James so much as takes one step toward her if she doesn't want him to, be prepared for a scream. Oh boy. She's been on one lately and as much as I hope it's just a phase, I'm afraid she's going to be our little diva. Watch out world!

James has been loving playtime with friends. He can't get enough of the Fisher kids. When he and his best bud are around each other, you can hear them calling each other "buddy" and it's pretty darn cute. He has developed an over the top fear of bugs (especially bees) and doesn't love playing outside like he used to, which I suppose is okay for now since it's so blasted hot and humid outside. I pray he'll get over it quickly though.

We also went blueberry picking for the first time with friends last week and Livy hated it and James loved it. I failed to get a single picture of it. We've also been doing the Dollywood thing and James can't get enough of it.

As hard a time as I've been having with Livy lately, I've also loved this age with her. I specifically remember when James was 15 months thinking that it was my absolute favorite age so far with him. He could communicate but was still so sweet. Livy has her sweet moments. She still cuddles, she babbles hysterically, and she is pretty much the cutest little thing I've ever seen. Although she tries hard, her language isn't where it was with James at this age. He could pretty much say anything and you could understand him perfectly. Not so with this one. She does have at least 20 things she says consistently and is learning new words all the time, so I'm not too worried, just more frustrated since I can't understand her well yet. She finally got to two word sentences (can you call two words a sentence?) and that was a relief. My favorite things she says are "All done," and "bear." My heart melts every time. She's getting to be more selective with what she eats and where she eats (she's already hating high chairs! Nooo!). If I stick her in her high chair (most of the time I have to force her in there) she will not eat. The second she's on my lap, she'll do great. There's got to be a remedy for that.

Brian is chief. CHIEF. Do you know what that means!? We're down to our final year of residency. I would say "hallelujah!" except part of me isn't ready yet for the real world. I've been trying to remember to enjoy this phase of our lives and I think I'm already getting nostalgic about our "Tennessee days." There is so much I love about it here and yet so much I long for elsewhere (i.e. closer proximity to family) that I know when it's over, it'll be time. So I'm going to enjoy this last year as much as I can because I really do know we'll look back on this time with extreme fondness and probably even miss it.

As for me, I'm just staying busy with the crazy kids, trying to get them to enjoy a fun-filled summer. I'm still trying to cook up new things and failing horribly at posting them on my food blog  (just-cook-already), which is probably the most ghetto food blog around since I'm terrible at taking photos of food. I've been reading a ton (just finished "Okay for Now" and "The Rent Collector." I highly recommend both) and am open to recommendations!

Brian and I celebrate our 6th anniversary on Sunday. Good times. :)

May Days

I had an entire blog post drafted on my phone (first and last time for that) this week but it appears not to have saved anywhere so lets start over . . .

Aside from an amazing week in California, May was not my month. Lest everyone start to think I'm a total narcissist based on my last couple posts, I'll spare every detail because I definitely was not exercising the power of positive thinking.

Just days before we left on our trip, I came down with something totally bleh. Instead of getting better, it kept getting worse until some very unpleasant symptoms showed up one morning. I was in so much pain I could hardly function and didn't have a clue how I was going to take care of my kids all day. Of course all this happened on one of Brian's on-call days where he isn't allowed to leave the hospital and wouldn't be coming home that night. I knew I needed medical attention but I had no idea what to do with the kids, etc. I laid on my bed in tears and pleaded in prayer for help and 30 seconds later, Brian called and said he was on his way home to get me to take me to the hospital. Total miracle. So, I spent the next several hours in the hospital but by that night I felt worlds better. We're still not entirely sure what I had, but I don't care as long as it never comes back.

Right after we returned from our trip, I went on a walk with the kids (on another night Brian was working late--see a pattern here? Bad things happen when he doesn't get to come home.) and totally biffed it on some wet sidewalk. My left leg was all bloody and battered and I must have twisted my right ankle going down, because when I stood up I couldn't put any pressure on it. I thought for sure it was broken. I'm not sure how I made it home, it hurt so badly. James was a good helper when we got home, but I knew I couldn't take care of our wiggle worm Livy while hopping around on one foot, so I had no choice but to put her to bed way before she was ready and listen to her cry in her crib for awhile. Poor girl. Luckily, my foot isn't broken and every day the swelling goes down and it feels a little better. I feel so lucky this didn't happen before our trip. There is no way I could have walked around theme parks all day like we did.

Speaking of our trip, it was one of the most exhausting trips I've ever taken, but it was also a little slice of heaven. Just being on the west coast was pure bliss. What is it about California that speaks to me that way? The ocean, the perfect weather, the atmosphere. Mostly the ocean. It was so hard to leave. Of course, it's always nice to come back home and sleep in our own beds.

Thanks to his recent growth spurt, James was barely tall enough to ride the new Cars ride. Surprisingly, he didn't love it like we hoped he would. He was in heaven playing with all his cousins though. I feel like I barely saw him the entire trip. Even little Livy, though more tired than any of us, was surprisingly pleasant the entire time. You just can't escape the magic of Disney.

Notice James laying on the stroller in this picture. The poor kid was so worn out. So is our stroller, by the way. It's totally broken now from his lounging on it like that. 

So, that was May. I'm totally going to try and embrace what will probably be our last summer ever in Tennessee. Here's to good times!

The Bush Years

I've been incredibly reminiscent this week and on the verge of feeling crazy. I know, how is that different from any other week with me? When did I turn into such a basket case?

It all started several weeks ago when I got this invitation in the mail:

For some odd reason, not for one second did I even entertain the notion of going. I blamed it on my circumstances and current role in life and simply thought "Too bad I can't go."

That was that and I was okay with it.

A week or so later, an old friend and former White House co-worker called to wish me a happy birthday. She mentioned the event and remarked, "You're going, right?"

I think I said something like "Pssshhh. Yeah right. I can't go to those types of things anymore. That was in my past. I'm a mom now. I have responsibilities. I can't just leave my kids."

She responded that I should just bring them along, to which I responded "That's not an option. Brian couldn't come and who would watch them in Dallas?"

At that point, I still was okay with not going. I still thought it was weird to even consider it.

Initially, in my mind, it was the hard core, senior staffers, or those staffers with mega political/Bush connections who would be going. But not me. I was just a lowly junior staffer. People like me would probably not be going. 

And then lo and behold, one by one, I learned that all my friends and former co-workers, and basically every former White House staffer but me, were going. Even the ones who had been in my lowly position. Even the ones who now had kids. ALL of them would be there. And I would not.

That was the turning point.

Suddenly it wasn't okay anymore.

Suddenly I wondered why I had dismissed it all so quickly. Why had I automatically assumed I couldn't go? I felt an overwhelming homesickness for my former life and former career. I wanted to be there with all my old friends more than anything. I wanted to be surrounded by all that political greatness, the American history, the perks of working for the president, just to sit with old friends and reminisce about the good old days. I really miss that whole atmosphere I used to breath 12+ hours a day. The urge to be part of it was so overwhelming it hurt.

I was so mad at myself for planning so poorly, for my once ambitious and go-getter mind having turned to mush for not thinking it was okay to allow myself to do such things anymore. I'm still not sure who would have watched my kids or how I would have worked out all the details, but I would have liked to have given myself the chance to at least try.

I broke down and cried for awhile yesterday and then called my sister, the one person who I was sure would understand. She didn't answer. So I cried some more and then was mad at myself for crying and told myself to get over it.

When my sister finally called me back last night, I thought I had come to terms with it all. I had even looked up plane tickets, but they were way out of my price range at that late in the game. I had no other choice but to be okay with not going. But when I heard my sister's voice and started telling her why I'd called in the first place, I lost it again. But you know what made it all okay? She broke down with me. She didn't tell me I was dumb for feeling that way, or criticize me for not figuring out a way to make it happen (although she did state what should have been obvious to me, "Britt, when you get invited to something by a former president, you just go.") She let me vent and told me I was validated for feeling how I felt. She told me that even though we knew getting married and starting a family were the right things to do, that it was okay to miss our old jobs/lives sometimes, too. Most important, she told me it was okay to feel the way I did. I didn't have to feel guilty about it just because I'm now a mom. It's okay to miss the past sometimes (as long as you don't get stuck there). 

So, by no ones fault but my own, I may very well be the only former Bush staffer not in Dallas tomorrow. Actually, there are a couple others not going, but only because they are off fighting in Afghanistan. So while they're doing that, I'll be fighting my own battles with my three-year-old, and trying to watch it all on TV. I will hear about it afterward from friends. I'll see their pictures on Facebook and Instagram. And I will have to be okay with it. And that is okay.

Updates

Insanity. Dang. It was hard, hard, hard. I could not have done it without Brian there pushing me every day. As hard as it was, we finished and I'm quite pleased and shocked with myself for carrying through with a workout like that, or any work out for that matter. The results? I do not look or feel like one of those before/after cases on TV. I don't have a six pack, and in fact, I may have only lost a pound or so. But, what I am happy with is that I toned up a bit and feel like I am in much better shape. That made it worth it to me. I'll probably try round two of it later this year. As for now, I have started doing Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred, which seems like a piece of cake after Insanity.

James' crazy sleep habits are finally improving. And after my last whine-fest of a post, I realize as much as sleep deprivation stinks, life could be a lot worse. I am thankful I have kids at all, even if they torture me with their nighttime antics.

Last week James was being a bit too crazy around bedtime. He was also trying to be a cute brother and make his sister laugh by running back and forth across the living room and then diving across the floor. Well, on one such dive attempt, he got a little too close to the fireplace mantel. Poor kid got one heck of a goose egg on his head. It changes colors daily.

Livy is finally talking a little bit more. New words this week include: shoes and uh-oh.

The weather has reached the 80s here in Knoxville. We finally turned on the A/C this week. Park time is back. Oh how we've missed it. Livy is loving it. Her newest thing is to bring me her shoes and point to the door.

I hate cars. I guess I just hate when they don't work and it costs an arm and a leg to fix a part you didn't even know existed.

Couponing. I used to be so good at it and felt great at the massive amounts of money we were saving on groceries each week. I still try to do it but am not anywhere near as obsessive about it as I used to be. I've still been getting awesome deals on random things though. I'll have to do a separate post on my favorites.

My sister-in-law found an old book at her parents house called The Art of Homemaking. I started reading it as a joke. It was written in the 1960s and, although parts of it are quite humorous, I've never read anything more sexist or old-fashioned. But parts of it are actually really, really good, like life-changing good for this slightly feminist girl who hates cleaning her house/feeling like a maid, etc. It has led me to a new way of thinking and helped me develop a better attitude about it at least.

We've made these several times in the last few months. They are way easy and sooo much better than a boxed mix.

We broke down and bought season passes to Dollywood. Since we plan on being in Knoxville all summer, we figured we may as well have something fun to do here. We went for the first time last week. James and Livy both loved it. It was way more kid/family friendly than I expected. Definitely red-neck though, which was fully expected. Should be a fun summer!

Head on Over...

Ever try Kerrygold products? They're an awesome Irish dairy company that makes amazing cheese. We're doing a little giveaway over at Just Cook Already, so check it out for some free cheese or butter and an awesome cookbook:

http://www.just-cook-already.com/2013/04/giveaway.html

Ode to Sleepless Nights (or Woe Is Me)

For the second day in a row, I have a massive headache. You know it's going to be a long day when you wake up with one. Usually my remedy for any type of headache is sleep, but when your three-year-old wakes up two to three times (sometimes more) every night screaming bloody murder for 13 days straight and counting, and often refusing to go back to sleep, waking up every one in the process, you don't get enough sleep to remedy anything.

I am so tired. And cranky. And impatient. And overly-emotional. And every other negative quality a mother should not possess. 

All I want is for my boy to go back to sleeping normally.

The cruel irony of all this is that Livy actually started sleeping better finally. I could have finally been on the road to much needed rest (I haven't had a full nights sleep since I found out I was pregnant with her, a two year anniversary coming up in a couple months).

It all started when we got home from our three-week long trip last month. The first couple times he woke up screaming I just thought it was a fluke (he does it every now and then). But when he did it for three days straight, I knew we had a problem. It has continued ever since.

I tried being super sweet and sensitive to any fears he might have, tried reasoning with him, tried talking it out, etc. When that didn't work, the impatience kicked in and I got mean and yelled and threatened and ignored. Not surprising, that didn't work either. And then I just felt like a terrible mother.

I tried putting him to bed super early, tried reinstating naps, which only made it worse because most days he w/couldn't fall asleep and it just made both of us crankier.

I tried researching the issue to find solutions. So not helpful.

I prayed. But I was so tired and cranky I didn't feel like I was even in a position to receive any promptings that could possibly come. But I'm still trying. 

I finally broke down and have been an emotional wreck this entire week (I almost lost it at church when Brian got stuck at work, leaving my sleep-deprived self alone to handle two cranky kids on Easter Sunday. I really couldn't handle it and it was only exacerbated by the fact that we were sitting right behind a family who had two sets of grandparents with them and an aunt and uncle or two. I have really been missing family this week. Oh, and then James refused to go to his primary class. Something he has never done before. I wanted to scream and cry and go into a coma all at once).

I am in dire need of a night alone at a hotel. Or a real vacation without kids (something that has never happened). Or both. Too bad neither is a possibility. Brian is back to his crazy 5 a.m. start days (last night didn't get home until after 1 a.m.), so we're all walking around with bags under our eyes around here.

I'm so tired that I'm not even sure what the point is of all this except it has been floating around in my head all morning and I wanted to get it out.

So if someone could send some help my way, I will take it in the form of prayers, advice, a full-time nanny, or even brownies.

Until then, this little gem kind of made me feel better (but also made me cry) last night:

Now I'm off to take some tylonel for that headache, and to try and find a positive attitude, because I just know there is a lesson somewhere here for me.

My Baby...

 

Turned ONE last week!

 

It was a super crazy day filled with a gazillion (at least) last minute wedding reception preparations for my sister-in-law. So we didn't get to have a party for her, watch her stuff her face with cake, sing to her, or any of those memorable first birthday things.

 

Obviously, she didn't know or care, but it still totally broke my heart that we couldn't devote more of the day just for celebrating her. What made me the most sad was that every time a special day rolls around for us we are always without any family, so that is all I wish for. This time, however, we were actually with tons of family and we still didn't get to do anything special for her. Can you tell I was totally bummed about this? Sorry little girl. I'll make it up to you some how.

 

Here's some fun pics of the birthday girl that totally capture her sweet personality . . .

(In the tub at my parent's house.)

 (On our way to Ashley's wedding reception. I am in dire need of a major haircut.)

(She still will eat just about anything. How do I keep her doing this and stop her from turning out like her brother?)

 

At one, Livy totally melts my heart on a daily basis. Probably because she loves me more than anyone and gives me a hundred hugs a day and breaks into a smile whenever she sees me. She no longer looks just like her brother--she has turned into her own little person. I am in awe daily at how beautiful she is. Her sleep is slowly improving (knock on wood). She is a great napper (two a day, usually two hours each) and is developing quite the sense of humor. We sure love her.

Speaking of Growing Up . . .

As if James isn't growing up too fast, his little sister is quickly heading down the same road.

She'll be a year old next month. I wish I could say this year sped by, but with how little sleep I've had, it has actually been one long year. Regardless, I sure love this girl.

She's starting to talk a little more. She can now say "Mom," "Dad," and "More." I can't wait for the day she says "James." She also signs "more" which is super cute. She still loves food. Every time we go to the grocery store she signs "more" every aisle we turn down. It's kind of funny.

She started officially walking last month. She'll only crawl now if she's super tired, which is a lot these days. The poor girl has been so sick. We've had two trips to the doctor in the last 48 hours. She got the horrible runny nose we've all had but to top it off she also caught a nasty infant virus (Roseola?). She had a terribly high fever (up to 103.7 one night), earaches, a sore throat, a cough and today developed a rash. Poor kid. Just in time for us to leave town for three weeks. Awesome.

All I have to say is thank goodness for tylonel. It saved us. She has been waking up every two hours the last few nights, but without the meds I don't know if she would have slept at all. She was so uncomfortable I was usually up half the night just rocking her little fevered body. She totally broke my heart.

Here's to a better March and no more sickness/doctor's visits! We'll be in Utah most of the month for Brian's sisters weddings. I'm excited to be there but not excited for the additional lack of sleep that usually comes with vacations!

My Rascal

My little boy is growing up way too fast. Brian and I were just discussing how much he is changing in every way. He's definitely more independent and his thought process, and therefore conversation, is totally evolving. Here are some funny tidbits that have come out of his mouth recently:

 (I found this picture on my phone today. He loves taking pictures of himself.)

I've started trying to teach him about history a little more. Mostly random things. For instance, since he loves boats, the other day we discussed the Titanic. This week we just so happened to be driving through Pigeon Forge (a way touristy area here near the Smoky Mountains) where there is a Titanic Museum. The museum's exterior was designed to look like the Titanic, including depicting it ramming into a giant iceberg. So, we pointed it out to James as we drove past. It struck his little brain as amazing and he wanted to talk about it the whole way home. Last night as he was saying his bedtime prayer, it went like this, "Dear Heavenly Father, thank you for this day, we ask thee to bless us, and please bless the ship that ran into the iceberg." We've been trying to teach him to personalize his prayers a little more, and well, there you have it.

Today during quiet time I told James he could watch 101 Dalmations because Livy has been sick and not sleeping well and I knew a movie would ensure James actually would stay quiet. We haven't watched it in months and just as I was starting it he told me that his favorite part was "where the bad guy gets his bum burned by the fire." There is, indeed, a part where Jasper gets his rear-end burned, but I never would have remembered it or thought James would have either so I mentioned that fact to him, that I was surprised he remembered that part. etc. He then asked, "How did I remember that?" and I replied, "I don't know, buddy, probably because you have a good memory." I guess he was expecting another answer because a second later he asked, "Did the Holy Ghost help me to remember that part?" I had to think for a second how to respond to that one. Try explaining to a three-year-old that the Holy Ghost probably doesn't care if he remembers parts of a movie.

A couple nights ago I was giving him a bath. We've all had runny noses the last couple weeks (it just won't end) and so I'm constantly telling James to go get a tissue to wipe his nose. Toward the end of his bath his nose was starting to run and he slyly said "Mom, turn away. Cover your eyes for a minute." I very casually covered my eyes, of course watching to see what he didn't want me seeing.
He then grabbed one of the foam alphabet letters he'd been playing with in the tub, wiped his nose with it and then threw it behind his back. Seriously, kid? So gross (but also kinda funny)! We had a little chat about that and I made him scrub it with soap afterward.

The other day I was chasing James (probably trying to get his pajamas on) through the house and he yelled "You can't catch me! I'm the speediest guy you ever saw!"

James and I have our good days and bad days together. There are definitely days where he is a total rascal and pushes all my buttons or days when I am just so tired that I have no patience, even when he's probably not being that bad. A couple weeks ago we were having a really good day together, both of us were in a good mood, I hadn't yelled or had to send him to his room, etc., and as I snuggled with him on the couch to read a story he took my face in his hands and said "Mommy, I love you," then he kissed my hand and said "Good job being a nice mommy today!" I was overcome with a mixture of both love and guilt by that comment. It was a nice reminder that I have a lot to work on as a mother.

Last Sunday, Elder Dallin H. Oaks, of the Quorum of the Twelve, came to meet with our stake. It was a huge deal here because apostles don't come here often. It reminded me how much I took for granted growing up in Utah. He was scheduled to speak at 10 on Sunday but by 8 a.m. the chapel was already full. Crazy! Luckily we got there early enough to sit at the front part of the overflow. Elder Oaks showed up at 9 and went around and shook nearly every person's hand. I was in awe at his generosity (especially compared to an experience we had with another apostle a few years ago who didn't seem so excited that anyone wanted to meet him) and kindness, etc. I tried to explain to James what this meeting was all about and who was coming, etc., but he didn't seem interested so much. Even when Elder Oaks was shaking his hand, I could tell he had no idea what was going on or how special the man shaking his hand was, but it still made me a little emotional that my sweet little boy was shaking an apostle's hand. It reminded me of Jesus' love for little children and for the capacity that children have to love. Even though James probably won't remember that moment, I always will.

I sure love this kid.

Long and Lean

James and Livy both had check-ups last week. Both are in the 75th for height and 25th for weight. I guess we make them tall and skinny around here.

Livy at 10 months: My love for this little girl grows by the day. She is oh so adorable. I've started calling her my "Sweet Pea" because she is just the sweetest little thing there ever was. She loves to give hugs, kisses, and laughs and smiles so easily. Seriously, all you have to do is walk in the room and her face will light up with a million dollar smile. She is almost always happy and when she's not you know it's usually nap time.

Brian and I joke that she is our little puppy. She crawls around after us whimpering and sits up and begs when she wants attention. She constantly eats things off the floor and sometimes when you offer her a snack, she'll just eat it right from your hand instead of taking it herself. She eats anything and everything (total opposite of her brother these days).

She is still crawling around like a little speed demon. She also takes a few steps every day and is always so proud of herself. She loses her balance and falls over just out of pure excitement for what she's doing.

She absolutely adores her brother. She gets giddy around him she loves him so much. She wants to do whatever he is doing and she loves to wrestle with him.

She also loves me. She started saying "Mom" a couple weeks ago and it melts my heart every time.

Her nights are improving ever so slightly, knock on wood. I remain hopeful that some day in the near future I may get more than four hours of consecutive sleep.

I don't even know what a favorite food of hers might be because she will literally eat whatever you give her and act like it's the greatest.

She loves music and is starting to dance when she hears it. She absolutely loves the piano and I can hardly practice these days without her begging to sit on my lap to play, too.

I could hold and snuggle this sweet girl all day if it didn't kill my back so dang much. Even though she's getting so big, she's still got the softness and warmness of a new baby and I could just eat her up she's so dang snuggly.

James at thee years: Oh where oh where to begin with this sassy boy? He can go from one extreme to the next in minutes, which causes me to go from one extreme to the other in minutes. He makes my heart want to burst with pride and joy one minute and makes me want to pull my hair out the next.

He is asserting his independence increasingly, still has a love-hate relationship with his sister, and currently has about four things on his list that he will eat without putting up a major fight about it. Getting him to eat is a chore and a half. I knew toddlers could be picky but I never imagined it could be this bad. I've resorted to spiking his milk with pediasure just so I know he's getting something in there. I really hope this is just a phase and not the start to a childhood of extreme pickiness.

He is SO into rhyming these days. He rhymes every day requests and sentences like it's totally normal to ask for a "Piece of banana bread-whama bread." Brian and I have to hold in our laughter when he prays and says "Dear Heavenly Father-Wather." The other day on the playground at the park he was playing with this little built in piano thing that had a busted key and a little girl came over and he told her "Sorry, we can't play with it. It's broken-hoken." I don't think the little girl knew what to do with that message.

He plays make-believe like a pro. It's hilarious to sit and listen to him. I could do it all day. He has some major imaginative bones in his body.

He tries my patience but I sure love this kid.

Insanity

Brian and I are currently in week two of the "Insanity" workout. Oh help me. It truly is insane. Only six more weeks to go. We can do this, right? Right?

Livy. Oh Livy. I love her to pieces but she makes me want to scream and pull my hair out. She's almost 10 months old and sleeping through the night is still a struggle. Every few weeks she'll tease me and sleep 9 or 10 hours straight two nights in a row. Then she goes back to her old ways before I have a chance to get my hopes up too high. I never knew sleep deprivation could go on this long without a person snapping. 

Jamers started going to Sunbeams on Sunday. I think he's going to love it. He loves being with the older kids. All week long he's been rehashing bits and pieces of his lesson. I love hearing him play with his action figures and tell them things like "Jesus is just like us!" and telling the firefighter guy to put out the "burning bush."

James got the above Jeep for Christmas. The first few days we were back from Utah/Idaho it rained nonstop so the Jeep stayed in the house for James to test out. It was cute watching him take Liv for rides. A few days later, Brian took James out to the garage to show him how it really works and it has been there ever since. After adamantly enforcing into his little head how important it is not to go out into the road or even anywhere near the road or the sharp decline that is our driveway, I think James is officially too scared to drive it now. Too bad it's not Brian's size. He'd be in it in a heartbeat.

James woke up with a terrible cough, runny nose, fever yesterday. This is the month to be sick, I guess. We've been sick more the last two months than we have the last two years combined. I hope after this one passes that we'll get a free pass the rest of the year because taking care of two little energetic rascals while you're sick is just about one of the hardest things I can think of.

I just got called to be the primary pianist in our ward. Seriously? It's quite laughable if you know my true piano playing skills, and musicality in general, are quite lacking. I tried explaining this to the primary president but she thinks I'm just being modest. I took maybe three years of lessons and was by far the worst out of all my siblings. I just didn't care. It's just proof that you can't hide anything in our ward. No talent or half-skill goes unnoticed or unused, which is nice in a way but totally weird in my case when you really can't play the piano and they don't believe you. They'll regret it when the primary program time comes around.

Last thing, and this one is funny: our favorite Mexican restaurant here celebrated Elvis' birthday earlier this week. Brian will kill me for sharing this, but it has to be done. They sent out an email saying if you dressed as Elvis and Priscilla Presley, you got a free meal, so naturally, two Halloween-hating people like ourselves decided we had to give it a go. Brian pulled out the tight t-shirt and leather jacket, rolled up his jeans, etc., and completed the look with hand drawn exaggerated side burns. He actually looked pretty good. I couldn't decide what to do. My baby fine hair won't go big no matter what I do to it, but I tried anyway. It would stay big for a few minutes and then go flat again. The final look was just ratty. But I did have some crazy 70s eyeliner and a shortish dress (as short as I could go without being immodest) with boots and that was about all. The result was Brian looked like Fonzy from Happy Days and I looked like a prostitute. We got the free meals all right but both of us agreed we were far too self-conscious to enjoy it so we won't be doing that again. Ah, fun times. I may post a picture soon.