Happy Halloween

First of all, this was Brian's idea--an act of his crazy spontaneity. We didn't even dress up for our ward Trunk or Treat earlier this week. The reason? I just plain dislike Halloween. If I could do away with one holiday, this would be it. I don't like the spooky (or trying to be cutesy) decor; the eerie side of the holiday totally creeps me out. I don't even like the costumes. I guess I'm just boring like that.  I remember being relieved when I was told I was too old to dress up anymore (how old was that? 11? 12?). But, I do think it's really sad that kids can't wear costumes to school these days. That's just pushing all these new age school restrictions too far.

Anyway, James was our little dinosaur this year.  Gosh how I love this kid (even though he has been refusing naps since we took his binky away last week and that has made for some very cranky moments).

Well . . .

I guess we're going to have to get used to things of a more girly nature around here because come March James is going to have a little sister.

This just proves I have horrible intuition (or does that mean no intution at all?). I always thought I'd have all boys. Now what?

30

I'm a day late, but a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Brian yesterday. I'm glad I'm a few months older so I can assure him that 30 isn't so bad afterall (not that he believes me).

I don't know what we'd do with out this guy. We sure do love him and appreciate everything he does for us (including spending all day painting our fence a couple weeks ago). 

Parenting Is Scary/Hard Sometimes

 

 (Driving his Grandpa Richman's boat in Park City this summer.)

Despite being a mom now for almost two years, I am still struggling to figure out my own parenting style and wondering if one truly ever gets the hang of this parenting thing.

Growing up, did you ever imagine the type of parent you'd be? Most of the time, my glimpses into my future occupation came in fleeting moments when one of my parents did something I hated and I vowed "I will never do that when I'm a mom!"(Including subjecting to making my teenagers drive a mini-van to high school. The thought of ever owning a mini-van still makes me shudder. But then again, how lucky were we that we at least had something to drive? Thanks, Mom and Dad for that.)

But other than that, until I got older and realized my parents did a really good job with their kids and I wanted to have the same results, I never gave it much thought. I mean, we're not perfect, but we all turned out okay. And isn't getting your kids to turn out mostly normal half the battle?

As I got older and thought more about what kind of parent I did and didn't want to be, I always thought I'd be the strictest mom any kid ever crossed because all the parents I knew who let their kids run free with nary a responsibility, and who gave them everything they wanted turned out totally messed up not the kind of kids I wanted mine to be.

And, in some things I am quite strict. Naps and bedtime are rigorously enforced. I get upset if my kid is in bed 10 minutes late. And I start to panic just a little if nap time is delayed for any reason. In my book, sleep and proper bed/nap times are just as important to a child's well being as proper nutrition, among other things (which is ironic coming from me, as you'll see in a moment).

Manners. I always knew I didn't want to have rude ungrateful children. Growing up, stopping for an ice cream cone at McDonald's was the biggest treat in the world. I don't want my kids to ever feel like something like that isn't a big deal. The real lessons in that will probably come later, but for now I'm working on the small things. James learned to say "please" right after he started talking and "thank you" came a little later. It makes me smile to hear him telling us "Thank you SOOOO much!" after giving him something or doing something for him. Usually I have to remind him, but today all on his own he said "Excuse me!" when we walked past someone in a crowded aisle at Target. Brian says as soon as he realizes that he is being polite and those are the nice things to say, he'll rebel and stop. But I don't think so. I think (er, hope) he gets it.

So with a few things, I am strict. With others, not so much.

My kid ate chocolate pudding for breakfast one day last week. Yep. Chocolate pudding. We ran out of yogurt and that was the next closest thing on a morning when he was being particularly picky and I wasn't in the mood to fight him. I don't eat a lot of junk food but I'm far from the world's healthiest eater. I think people who eat organic food are weird and I'm so not the type of person who thinks a plain old apple or orange qualify as a real snack. Needless to say, it has been an adjustment for me remembering that I need to implement fresh produce into my young sons diet because he needs them and if he doesn't like them right now, that's fine. I'll keep trying and maybe someday he'll thank me. And then maybe one day he'll be good enough not to let his own kids have chocolate pudding for breakfast.

I once read that rebellious and disobedient kids are a product of parents who disagree with their parenting styles and who often show contradicting methods in plain view of their children. This thought has always terrified me. So when Brian lets James do something I just told him he couldn't do, I freak out a little (or vise versa). And when I tell James no to something or I say "If you do that one more time . . . " and then I do nothing about that one more time because I'm just being lazy or too tired to fight it, I later get mad at myself and try to do better the next time. Sometimes it's hard though.

I always said my kid would never be one of those toddlers with a binky. This subject makes me tired just thinking about it. I'll save that for another day . . . obviously I failed big time here. The kid would take his binky over nourishment any day (I tested this theory once. It's true).

So, I'm not perfect and probably never will be. James may have great verbal skills but on days in nursery when he won't sit at the table coloring or eating snacks with the other kids, or like yesterday (which seemed like the longest day in history) when all he would do was cling to me and whine and whine (I also never wanted whiny kids--how to make that stop!?!) and I wonder what I've done wrong, I just have to remind myself that kids have bad days sometimes. And until I figure out this parenting thing and what my genuine parenting style is, I'm going to have bad days, too.

Are there any things you once said you would/wouldn't do and have now found that you've changed? Any tips for those bad/crazy days? :)

James being James

 

Last night was kind of rainy, so Brian and I took James to the play area at the mall. He went down the slide over and over again and would tilt his head up and lean back every time he went down (to go faster, maybe?). He made friends with a darling little girl who he tries to catch going down the slide at the end here.

I still don't get how he can love social settings like this and yet hate nursery so much. Explain that to me, James. It also kills me how tall he's getting. I just want him to stay my little boy longer.

Friday, Friday

More random musings . . .

Still addicted to Facebook Scrabble and Pinterest, which is not a good thing if you are trying to spend less time on the computer.

I'm in the middle of re-reading the Little House series. So far, my favorite is still Little House in the Big Woods. It makes it seem like there is something magical about living in that time period. Although really I am so so so so so so (infinitely) thankful that I don't have to butcher my own meat, sow my own wheat, make my own clothes, only get one piece of candy twice a year, sit still without saying a word on Sundays, and live in that sexist of a culture altogether (a woman's work just never ended, I swear).

In Knoxville, there is a train track around every corner. You can't escape them. Needless to say, our house is less than half a mile from one (if that). I definitely don't notice the train whistles as much as I used to, but good grief, the one that goes by at 11:15 every night sounds like a haunted train. It makes me shudder every time I hear it thanks to this Stephen King movie that I've been traumatized by since Andrea and I accidentally watched it when we were 12.

Elder Eyring's conference talk gave me the rejuvination to get more on the ball with my reading of the Book of Mormon. Lately, I haven't been as good as I used to be and I have no excuse. Last night I started completely over, including reading the testimonies of the witnesses, etc.

I'm going home to Utah for Thanksgiving (just bought my ticket today). It will be the first time I've been home for Thanksgiving in nine years and the first time my entire family will be together in almost a year and a half. I'm mostly excited to get to know my darling nephew better and to watch he and James play together. I'm jealous every time a family member goes to Sweden and comes back sharing the cutest stories in the world of him.

I'm almost 17 weeks. I feel so much better these days. In fact, sometimes an entire day will go by where I forget I'm pregnant. I'm still wearing my regular clothes and I don't think I've entirely "popped" just yet. In fact, sometimes I swear I was bigger a few weeks ago. Am I shrinking? Is that even possible?

I don't know what it is, but the second I found out I was pregnant I started sleeping horribly. I can't fall asleep as easy and I wake up several times a night to go to the bathroom. I don't remember having to go this much this early on with James, but it just plain stinks. I also can't get through the day unless I try and have a little nap when James does. I'm a horrible napper, so most of the time this doesn't work, but at least laying down with my eyes closed for a few minutes helps.

We keep asking James if he's going to have a brother or a sister. This is his usual response: "I don't want a brother. I don't want a sister! Sisters make me angry." Okay then, what do you want? "I want a dog!" Reminds me of my brother . . . 

For the first time ever, I attempted to do some grocery shopping without putting James in the cart. He was in total heaven. I thought he'd be a little rascal and run off and I'd end up putting him in the cart kicking and screaming anyway, but he didn't do half bad. He got distracted a few times with a display of giant stuffed animals, and aside from walking along the cart with a huge smile on his face throwing random things in while saying "We need this and we need this and we need THIS!" I had to be sneaky and take those random items (like Powerade, salad dressings, a 2 lb bag of cheese, etc.) out while he wasn't looking. Otherwise he'd act confused/offended/annoyed, go back to the exact same items and put them back in the cart again.

I helped co-host a party for a bunch of ladies in my neighborhood last night. I've been nervous about it for weeks. I don't know the ladies in my neighborhood well, aside from the 70 +-year-old women who live next door to me, they're all fairly well-off and in our current tight-wad state it's kind of intimidating. Plus, I know people around here think Mormons are evil. So, I was nervous about going. Of course, I always overreact. I had a really good time and hopefully made some new friends. Yesterday, while pulling together some last minute things, the other girl hosting asked if she thought we had enough wine for the party. I told her I had no idea and for a second I thought she was going to ask me to stop by the liquor store (to which I would have then had to explain to her that I don't drink and I really wouldn't even know what to get, etc.), which made me realize that in my 30-year existence I have never, not once, been asked to drink or asked to buy it, etc. Is that weird? That makes me sound so sheltered, but I guess I've just been really conscious about staying out of those situations altogether or at least friends/co-workers have just known not to ask. I'm okay with that.

Earlier this week, along with a few other women, I spoke to our Relief Society about ways to save money. I kind of felt like a hypocrite. Since mid-summer when my hormones shifted drastically, I have barely even looked at a coupon. I was so averse to so many foods that just looking at a coupon or reading the grocery ads made me gag. Seriously. It was the weirdest thing. Even now, I have a sort of hard time looking at them. Needless to say, I haven't been saving as much money as I used to, at least not at the grocery store. I need to get back in gear though because I hate spending more money than I need to.

Thanks to Pinterest, I discovered a cleaning schedule I think will work for me, as well as a "40-days to decluttering your home" type list that I have already started. Once a day you're given a different drawer or closet to go through. So far, I've decluttered the front of our fridge and the laundry room. Today I am going to tackle our gift wrapping closet (yes, we have one of those--it's an oddly shaped closet that nothing else will fit in). I know that's only a few places, but it feels good to even get a little bit done.

Most little boys James' age love Thomas the Train. I hate Thomas the Train. The first time I watched the show I thought "Wow, that train is so obnoxious." Then I watched it once more and it was even worse. So, as mean as it is, we do not watch Thomas at our house. Ever. Because I cannot handle it. However, we went to TJMaxx to pick up a baby present today and there had to be a whole display of Thomas toys that James couldn't get enough of. He proudly exclaimed "Look, mommy, Thomas!!!" (Like it was a long lost friend.) Then I felt like a bad mom. So now I'm trying to convince myself that it's for his own good. Same with Barney. I just can't do it.

I love fall. Everyone says that this time of year, I know. But I really do love it more than any other time of year. Yesterday I bought two pie pumpkins to experiment cooking with. We have 2 cans of pumpkin sitting in our food storage but I just couldn't help myself.

Thanks to Pinterest, I've started doing some craft projects. I still refuse to call myself a crafter because I feel so silly and out of place doing projects like that. Plus, I don't own a sewing machine or a hot glue gun, so I think that disqualifies me on the spot for being referred to as an official "crafter." But, it's kind of fun to make something out of nothing. It made me realize that even though I never thought I would become one of those so not me Mormon moms who craft and stay at home with the kids all day, sometimes things just change. Although every time I watch Fox News I feel a twinge of homesickness, I wouldn't trade Jamers for anything. I used to hate grassroots campaigning, walking door to door, handing out flyers, etc., but since I've been away from it long enough, it kind of sounds fun now and as soon as someone from a certain campaign emails me back on whether there is an office in Knoxville yet, I am going to start volunteering. I wonder how James will feel about coming with me.