Ode to Sleepless Nights (or Woe Is Me)

For the second day in a row, I have a massive headache. You know it's going to be a long day when you wake up with one. Usually my remedy for any type of headache is sleep, but when your three-year-old wakes up two to three times (sometimes more) every night screaming bloody murder for 13 days straight and counting, and often refusing to go back to sleep, waking up every one in the process, you don't get enough sleep to remedy anything.

I am so tired. And cranky. And impatient. And overly-emotional. And every other negative quality a mother should not possess. 

All I want is for my boy to go back to sleeping normally.

The cruel irony of all this is that Livy actually started sleeping better finally. I could have finally been on the road to much needed rest (I haven't had a full nights sleep since I found out I was pregnant with her, a two year anniversary coming up in a couple months).

It all started when we got home from our three-week long trip last month. The first couple times he woke up screaming I just thought it was a fluke (he does it every now and then). But when he did it for three days straight, I knew we had a problem. It has continued ever since.

I tried being super sweet and sensitive to any fears he might have, tried reasoning with him, tried talking it out, etc. When that didn't work, the impatience kicked in and I got mean and yelled and threatened and ignored. Not surprising, that didn't work either. And then I just felt like a terrible mother.

I tried putting him to bed super early, tried reinstating naps, which only made it worse because most days he w/couldn't fall asleep and it just made both of us crankier.

I tried researching the issue to find solutions. So not helpful.

I prayed. But I was so tired and cranky I didn't feel like I was even in a position to receive any promptings that could possibly come. But I'm still trying. 

I finally broke down and have been an emotional wreck this entire week (I almost lost it at church when Brian got stuck at work, leaving my sleep-deprived self alone to handle two cranky kids on Easter Sunday. I really couldn't handle it and it was only exacerbated by the fact that we were sitting right behind a family who had two sets of grandparents with them and an aunt and uncle or two. I have really been missing family this week. Oh, and then James refused to go to his primary class. Something he has never done before. I wanted to scream and cry and go into a coma all at once).

I am in dire need of a night alone at a hotel. Or a real vacation without kids (something that has never happened). Or both. Too bad neither is a possibility. Brian is back to his crazy 5 a.m. start days (last night didn't get home until after 1 a.m.), so we're all walking around with bags under our eyes around here.

I'm so tired that I'm not even sure what the point is of all this except it has been floating around in my head all morning and I wanted to get it out.

So if someone could send some help my way, I will take it in the form of prayers, advice, a full-time nanny, or even brownies.

Until then, this little gem kind of made me feel better (but also made me cry) last night:

Now I'm off to take some tylonel for that headache, and to try and find a positive attitude, because I just know there is a lesson somewhere here for me.